I rang my mother today to see how she was doing. She hasn’t been well lately and I wanted to call and see how she was doing. She is a bit confused at times and often asks what day it is. I had gone on a play date yesterday (the 12th) and when I realised that it was the thirteenth I remembered that today is my father’s birthday.
I realise that sounds awful to not remember your father’s birthday but in fairness, neither of my parents were birthday people so while we did give him gifts or a card, it was never a huge production. Quite apart from that, my father has been dead now for quite some time so while I remember the date, it doesn’t have the significance it did when he was alive.
I often wonder what my father would have been like if was alive and well. He would have been in his early eighties. He had developed Parkinson’s disease in his late fifties and we had to put him in a nursing home about seven years later.
I never really got to know my father as an adult which is something I regret. I love my mother dearly but she was the extrovert in their relationship while my father was the quiet one and she often overshadowed him. For my part, I could have been more supportive of him – especially when he wasn’t well.
At various times today I found myself remembering things about him. Just little things but significant to me at least. Here are a few things that came to mind:
My father always thought the number thirteen was lucky. He was born on the thirteenth and he got his longest running job on the thirteenth. As a result, I don’t have the same aversion to the number.
He was a trickster. I remember once sitting on his chair and steadfastly refusing to move out of it. Rather than shift me out of it by force, he proceeded to lay down on the sofa across from the chair and made a great show of how comfortable it was. Of course, I then wanted to lay down on the sofa and as I headed over towards it, Dad sprang up and reclaimed his chair.
That trick has proved most useful since I had kids of my own. Sweet-Pea did not want to eat her fish tonight – until I told Hubby to give the fish to me at which point she not only screamed that she wanted it but proceeded to eat the entire portion.
He loved my brother and myself very much and had it been up to him – I think he would have had more kids. When we took three of my cousins to Disney World in Florida, my father hoped that everyone thought that all my cousins belonged to him!
He was a morning person. According to my mother, he would sing songs from Oklahoma when he awoke in the morning. By the time I came along, he wasn’t doing that anymore but he was still an early riser and liked getting up early.
He was a child of the depression and he was very careful with money. A bit too careful but my Mum encouraged him to spend a bit and he encouraged her to save a bit and on the whole – they rarely had money worries.
My son Smiler reminds me of him...
Here are a few photos of Dad in his younger years. I don’t know as you would see the resemblance to Smiler but I'll let you be the judge.
This is my Dad at about the age of two holding a sailboat.
This is my Dad at fifteen – he had left school two years earlier.
This was my Dad at thirty when he was first dating my mother.
And here is Smiler in his pumpkin outfit. I think they have similar eyes and Dad had the same mischievous grin.
Wherever you are Dad – I’m thinking of you today. I love you and miss you...
And I see him in you. What a lovely tribute to your father.
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